Motherhood

Recently, my good friend gave birth to her first child. Her labour was long. Though i have yet to hear any details from her, I am sure it was not an easy feat. It brings me back to the time when I had my first child, Hannah. Tough, had haemorrhage, traumatising!

Hannon's birth was a complete different. Three adjectives: quick, extreme pain, elated!

Hannah VS Hannon

waters broke / went in to get waters broken
labour 8 hours/ labour sub 4 hours
epidural at 5cm/ epidual already 10cm and ready to push (wasted!)
vacuum assisted/ au naturel
cried in fatigue and relief when i saw baby/teared with joy and was so touched when I saw baby
pushed for an hour plus/ pushed for 10-15 minutes
baby at 3.87kg/ baby at 3.37kg
lost a lot of blood, haemorhage/ normal birth
biggest regret: not opening my eyes. saw nothing throughout pushing.In great fear.
                    : not hanging on to go without epidural. I was so close to doing it without and in retrospect know i could have and would have if only the mid wife had told me i was already fully dilated.
no side effect of epidural/ vomitted and shivered
stayed for 4nights/ stayed 2 nights
could not walk for 2 days/ walked the next day

Similarity: Both were painful.
               I love them both to the max!


Hannah is now 2 years old. And the entire delivery of her is still vivid. It doesn't seem that long ago. Sometimes I look at her, I miss her. I know I will miss her even more as she slowly grows up. Miss the little hands, the naughty behvaviour, her cheekiness, and every little thing about her. So as I get up in the wee hours to change and feed Hannon, I tell myself to cherish such memories because it won't be long before he'll be more independent like Hannah and I will only get to look back at such moments with a smile.

Motherhood has moulded me. With Hannah it was a great change to the life that I was leading. I was thrown into a whole new world that I knew nothing about. I had to give up my career path to take care of her, give up my freedom as I was her main-caregiver with no helper, I had no idea how to take care of an infant! But through the ups and downs and support from hub and friends and family, I grew and by God's grace, my baby girl thrived and grew up well. It was the greatest milestone in my life thus far. It made me learn to put down myself and to sacrifice unconditionally. (which I still falter at times)

Now, I am more confident in parenting an infant. I have more time at hands with a good helper we've engaged. My perspective are clearer and I am more ready to be here for my kids although it means i have lesser of myself. But there are challenges too. And I am still learning...
to be patient with Hannah while up to the neck with Hannon.
to be sensitive and make sure Hannah has enough time with me although Hannon is constantly feeding.
to have the wisdom to teach Hannah right from wrong
to know how to handle a boy and a girl in the right way
and the list goes on.

However, I am most comforted in knowing that I am loved by them and I am their dearest mummy. I know this because Hannah is reminding me daily with her tantrums that goes : I want mummy, I want mummy... I know this when she runs to me for comfort when she hurt herself... And I know that although Hannon is too young to articulate any of such, it will soon be his turn to remind me of this great blessing God has endowed upon our family.

Yes, hubby and I are more tied up with parenting and have less time for ourselves... BUT the unspeakable joy that brightens up our day, the smiles that they bring to our faces, the children's laughter,the funny things they utter out of the blue, the simplicity that we see in the things they find joy in are big big blessings from God above.

Thank you , Lord.
Thank you for our precious children.
They are indeed blessings from you.

To all mothers out there, well-done! We deserve a pat on our back!
To all daddy, we couldn't have done it without you.
To all children, you are loved.